Anatomy of a Wound
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Dr. Bob Schuchts “Anatomy of a Wound”. If you haven’t read any of his books, or listened to his Restore the Glory podcast (alongside Dr. Jake Khym), I highly recommend doing so. The RTG podcast has a several episode series on the Anatomy of a Wound which is so good and breaks down in this simple graphic, which Dr. Schuchts provided:
What has really struck me about this conceptualization is how well it integrates trauma treatment & principles as well as spiritual ones. See, we all have wounds that originate from our families of origin. When treating attachment (that is, relationship and connection) trauma, we start with looking at our parents and caregivers. We do this in therapy not so we can blame them for everything, but so that we can hold parents/caregivers accountable (in our own minds and hearts) and give them back their rightful responsibilities- this enables us to move out of a victim position. Being able to feel and name those wounds is huge. Taking ownership of what is and isn’t yours emotionally is a powerful step toward personal agency.
Next, we develop beliefs as a result of these wounds- beliefs about ourselves, about others, beliefs about God. This is where St. Ignatius of Loyola’s discernment of spirits really intersects with Pia Mellody’s teaching on internal boundaries. Not every thought you have is yours, or even God’s! The enemy knows our vulnerabilities and preys on them, whispering lies about who we are or aren’t. Growing in discernment of, and resistance to, these lies is absolutely life changing- and it shows up as a strong internal boundary. We begin to protect ourselves rather than abandon ourselves out of a false belief.
The last layer is vows. These are the behaviors, or sins, that tend to arise out of the painful lies about ourselves that we believe. This is where we ourselves are held accountable- another phrase for “accountable” is “rightful assignment of responsibility” (a phrase coined by La Shanda Sugg). To protect the wound within, and to soothe the beliefs that have arisen out of those wounds, we take on adaptive behaviors that are helpful when we’re children (after all, we did survive) but are often dysfunctional and downright disruptive as adults.
In terms of developmental and relational trauma that starts in childhood and wreaks havoc as adults, Anatomy of a Wound gives us an excellent scaffolding to work with. Our parents and/or caregivers need to be held accountable. We must discern and call to light the lies that have us bound. And we must see and name our sinful behaviors that keep us from getting the healing we truly need.
A side note, but a very important note: this is why just focusing on “sin” is not helpful. There is always, always, a deeper root of pain and anguish beneath the behavior we call “sin”. It can be a helpful place to start, but any talk of sin within the church, with friends and/or family, or in the therapy room that doesn’t move beyond the behavior into the deeper human parts of yourself with compassion is not a thorough conversation! Conversely, any path of compassion and healing should lead ultimately to awareness of, confession, & repentance of sin. This IS the path to healing & freedom! It’s his kindness (not condemnation) that leads us to repentance- but it DOES indeed lead us to repentance (and to His abundant and inexhaustible love).
Rest assured, I’m not talking about this without doing the work myself- I am working through this in real time. Turns out, I have a deep wound of self-worth from how my parents (my human, imperfect, valuable parents) engaged me as a child & teenager. From those wounds, a belief has taken root that my needs don’t matter, that I don’t matter. Out of that pain, somewhere along the way I made a vow that I must abandon my needs & wants in order to feel worthy of love and approval. What this looks like is not advocating for myself in a healthy, mature way until I feel taken advantage of or disregarded, at which time I’ll become enraged and then collapse in despair. It’s a maddening, exhausting, and embarrassing cycle to be in. Thank God for my wonderfully patient, loving, and self-possessed husband who rides my waves with me.
So, I’m human. You’re human. We’re all on a journey- some of us actively participating, others just hanging on for dear life. I invite you to join me in actively participating with God’s grace, which can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine. There is freedom, my friends!
The Gospel according to St. John, the eighth chapter, beginning at the thirty-first verse:
31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” 33 They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”
34 Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. 35 The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
