Is Therapy Necessary?
As one who has always been about 2-5 years behind any trend, I find it surprising that I'm actually on trend with being a therapist. I got into this field after avoiding it for over a decade and amazingly, I'm doing something at the same time all the cool kids are doing it. I hear therapy mentioned by podcasters, in ads, referenced in conversation with friends... I get asked all the time for referrals, and it seems like every direction I turn, talking about therapy is all the rage.
Even I'm like, Gees- is all this therapy really necessary?
As I've pondered why therapy is in the zeitgeist, I've come to the conclusion that it's a sign of the times. Saying, "my parents and/or grandparents didn't do therapy and they were fine" isn't applicable anymore. Their generations and our generations (adult, adolescent, child) are so vastly different that we're no longer comparing apples to apples. Think about food- it's understandable that someone might comment that their parents ate whatever they wanted and they were fine. There can be any number of reasons for this, but let's consider that food is truly different than it was decades ago. Food wasn't genetically modified like it is now, wasn't full of preservatives, etc. Literally, today's apples are not your parents' or grandparents' apples. Also, many of us would say that our parents and grandparents could have really benefitted from therapy had it not been taboo back then.
My husband laughs at me because anytime we have to buy something expensive, one of my immediate protests is (loudly) "MY DAD BOUGHT A TRUCK BACK IN THE DAY FOR FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS! A TRUCK! How is this (insert item here) more than a freaking truck?!" What I fail to mention is that he bought that truck 30 years ago. That matters. And although I will never be okay with the cost of a new cell phone or spending $30 on breakfast at an airport, I do have to acknowledge that times have changed.
I consider myself a relatively aware person and I struggle constantly with the pull of too much- too much curiosity (#NeverNotGoogling), too much information (podcasts, blogs, social media, books, streaming services, advertisements every second of the day!), too much activity/demands on time, and too much consuming (food, drink, stuff, noise, more stuff). No wonder we're anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, and distracted; there has never been more ways to avoid real relationships with self, with others, and settle for alternatives. There's never been a more constant assault on the human soul- yours, your spouse's, your child's, your friend's, your sibling's, etc. than there is right now.
Because we are in an unprecedented time of rapid change and way. too. much., I do think therapy is a good and necessary help, at least for a season. A friend of mine once described my role as a modern day confessor, to which I agree. I'll also add that what therapists have to offer is (hopefully) listening with undivided attention, discernment, encouragement, and healthy challenges. To find a trusted therapist who is able to do that well is to find someone who is good at the art of therapy as well as the science. It's no easy task, and it is truly holy work on the sacred ground of the human heart.
The goal of good therapy should be to have the client move from assistance to agency. I don't advocate for therapy as a long term solution, and your therapist should not be a surrogate friend. However, therapy is a great option to help you get familiar with and comfortable in your own inner world, especially in the midst of a chaotic and overwhelming exterior world. To that I say, if you’re going to invest in something, your soul is a great place to start.
