Faith & Therapy.
My husband and I have three pets- two cats and a dog. All three are rescues; our cats are from a local shelter and our dog was retrieved at daybreak from a church parking lot on the Navajo reservation. That in itself is an epic tale of drama, intrigue, and glory... but that's another story for another time.
One of our cats is Luna. We met her at the shelter where she was in the back of an open cage, too far out of reach from our hands, but still able to be seen and touched from the side. We would stick our fingers through the cage, and she would briefly and swiftly brush her head against our finger, then jerk away. It was heartbreaking to see how much she wanted to be petted, and yet how terrified she was of being touched. I guess that's what happens when you're brought in as a 4-month-old feral kitten and spend several years in a chaotic animal shelter.
Well, we brought her home and we've had her for 5 years now. She is still anxious and neurotic, but less so as she's gotten used to our home and us. She knows our rhythms and routines, and she continues to come out of her shell with each passing year. I can sit in my chair in the morning with my hand hanging down and she will come up and let me pet her. But, that's it- she won't let me pick her up, she won't sit on my lap, and she immediately skitters away if she senses any sudden movement.
She has made significant progress in overcoming her fear and accepting love in her years with us, but she is still so far from being able to receive all that she could. I know all the love I have in my heart for her and how much I long to be able to snuggle her, but she's limited in her ability to receive it. I wish I could change it, but really all I can do is simply remain available to her, each and every day, ready and willing to love her on her terms.
I think about God and His love for us a lot when I consider Luna. We are the same- God is always pouring out infinite love on us but we are limited in our ability to receive it. There are many reasons why we're limited, but we're limited nonetheless- and yet He remains, loving us and longing for us to be able to receive it. God is never withholding His love from us; we are the ones who are restricted in our ability to receive what is already ours (Luke 15:11-32).
This is where therapy and faith intersect. Often those reasons why we're restricted in our ability to love and be loved are because we have wounds that have been covered over by protective behaviors. The problem is we get stuck in those protective behaviors and then we're not only keeping out the bad, but also the good. There is so much compassion for those wounds and healing available, and a good therapist can help guide you through this process. We can only go as far spiritually as we've been able to go emotionally. As we become aware of how restricted we are, there is an invitation. An invitation to go deeper (to grow in faith, hope, and love) by becoming free to be loved by a God who knows and loves you so deeply, and to love Him and others in return. This is what we're made to do (Matthew 22:36-40)!
Counselors cannot replace ministers, and therapy cannot replace the church. But they can work together to bring God's healing gaze of love to those internal places of pain.
"Man comes in the profoundest sense to himself not through what he does but through what he accepts... And one cannot become wholly man in any other way than by being loved, by letting oneself be loved." Joseph Ratzinger, Introduction to Christianity, 2nd ed. (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2004), 267.
